Beacon

My mother is a great source of inspiration to me. I have recently felt a great sense of sadness, over many things, and in combination, they have left me almost paralyzed and withdrawing. At my worst, she came to me and said, "I am your mother." Indeed she is. God provides these people, these beacons, to you, in times of total darkness, and you hear them call to you, call you out of the hollow, and back into the light and world. They are strong for you in times you can't be.

And today, my heart is so lifted and hopeful. I see that its light is full again and the darkness is falling away. I tell this to my husband, and my friends, and then my mother, my beacon, called me from a place where she feels a little lost.

My grandmother is sick again. My mom is burdened because this is a difficult transition for her, this passing into twilight of someone that has guided her, and she loves, and she doesn't want to see in this frail state. My mother has asked me many times to write something about my grandmother. And I have not, until tonight, truly done that. But I see in my memory my mother and her mother in all these pictures, and they melded together in this poem.

Mom, you are so strong. I am with you and grandma is now and will always be with you, too.


My mother,
who came from a
woman of mountains,
of the halls of wood frame
homesteads, swept yards,
and peeling laughter
from brothers, and sisters,
from a woman who
descended steps of
stone school houses, in black
muslin skirts, and married
a young war veteran,
leaning , laughing
against bridges,
Inez, pop. 600.
My mother, who
stood in kitchens,
watching cakes baking,
eye level of polka dot
Aprons, of fifties
Formica tables and
peanut butter rooster
glasses, and
grasshopper slip-ons.
I see you, my mother, in
black and white pictures,
bangs cut straight
with Mary Janes and
cardigans, trying a smile
in a park in Cleveland.
And there's your mother,
in black and white and
long legs and dark hair
and isn't she beautiful?
And my mother you are
your mother's daughter,
strong and true and a
fighter and I am
of you and with you and
I am too her daughter;
because of you,
she continues.